Sexual Freedom

There are many layers to sexual freedom. The first and most often talked about is societal conditioning and programming.
While this feels like the strongest factor, this is actually the most superficial.

This conditioning naturally resolves itself when one addresses the deepest layer, the strongest layer. The deepest layer and the biggest barrier that prevents one from being free is their own sexual desire.
Please note, desire is different than freedom.

We have become accustomed to satisfying our sexual desires. Many sex experts in society call it a need. And this gives one permission to “satisfy their human needs”, without any introspection or examination. The desire is overcome by satisifying it.
This is a misstep.

Sexual desire, while common, is a chain of short-term dopamine spikes. The brain provides the dopamine that the mind will use to push you to act in a certain way.

Talk to an attractive person.
Get their number.
Go on a date.
Have a physical sexual experience.
Dopamine at every step.

Our bodies also reward us with oxytocin, serotonin, and other parasympathetic effects which further re-enforce these behaviors.

What prevents the freedom of our sexuality is our erotic desire. We see and act strictly from desire. Often, when we see someone we desire, attachment begins to form.

There is nothing wrong in this. But this attachment prevents us from seeing the person as they truly are.
Some others are avoidant. They fear losing their desire, which prevents them from seeing the person they are interacting with.

Those who are free of attachment, are still not sexually free. What they desire in the morning is different than what they desire in the evening. If you are acting on your desire, you still haven’t seen the person in front of you.
Their focus will be, on the feeling of desire which occurs when being around this person.
That lens is desire-focused, not person-focused.

When we separate ourselves from our desire, we naturally have the opportunity to see the person that we are.

What form of sexuality and sensuality works for us?

By observing others without the distraction of our own desire, we begin to understand our own sexual style.
The steps that allows one to become free are organic once you know who you are.

By releasing your own sexual desire, you also have a chance to release your desire from validation from everyone including yourself.

In this way, validation from society or societal conditioning will not influence your action. They will not stand in the way from being the person you truly are.